somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Please don't give away my fajitas
We smell like vodka and hangover
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
