I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
