He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
do herpes really smell.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
