last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
