i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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