uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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