I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
