Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
