you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
