We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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