just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize
