carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
my vag is so smooth its legendary
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
