me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
