Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
