How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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