i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
