She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
