Me too!
I CAN MOONWALK!
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize