Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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