Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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