It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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