Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
