i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
