By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We are all done wearing pants today
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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