Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
