the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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