3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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