these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
