Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Randomize
