just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
