also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize