He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Randomize
