He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
