cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
It's never too late to be topless.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
