did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
