Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
My balls are so social today.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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