Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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