like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
