Can Purell be used as lube?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
