yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
