dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
