I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
