Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
