Kiss
Puke
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize