He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize