just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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