Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
The power of my boobs compel you
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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