Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
