I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
