I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
