Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Are we still banned from the library?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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