Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
