How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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