i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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