There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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