bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
