Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I smell like Dick and happiness
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
