He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
