Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
