ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize